DSM Highway Bloodbath- A kill story Options

[KOU In3]

Having the confidence inspired by driving the car without mishap for a whole 15 minutes after picking it up I started to notice the open stretches of highway devoid even of Illinois's 'oh so scenic' corn fields. Staying glued to the tail of KOUmotorsports' support vehicle (beater SHO replete with organic weight reduction and no parasitic functioning heater core) starts to get a little old.

Changing lanes, I spot the dual dual tail pipes of an early 90's Camaro ahead. And no I didn't stutter when I say dual dual. What I initially thought to be an optical illusion inspired by my recent acquisition's crack crazed windshield was in fact the V8 power proclaimed by a plethora of pipes. Who could resist a glance over to see the confidence exuded by the pilot of this beast of American muscle? Visor? check. Said visor rotated ever so carefully to the side? check. Seat in the ultra-reclined position? check. Wifebeater and no coat in the middle of winter? check. Bodyweight down to a ripped 120 pounds for racing weight reduction in this beast he pilots with just his left wrist draped rakishly over the steering wheel? check. Obviously this is a cool customer and a hardcore racer so I want no part of him in the stocker with a bad tranny I just picked up.

Too late. He's seen me and my wounded bird of a Talon is going to be forced to stretch its tiny wings in an effort to escape from this beast's clutches. My poor driving skills not being up for the rev matching, broken shift fork finessing necessary to ease its broken tranny back into fourth I decide to punch it in 5th. The first couple low-rpm moments gave me the chance to recheck the number of exhaust pipes on the white lightning Camaro. Yep, still four of them. Just when I was trying to picture the complicated state of the art exhaust system he must be sporting to make use of all those pipes, I suddenly find myself craning my neck to see them. Then it's time for another check of the white visor. Both hands are on the wheel now and he's "givin' 'er aul she's got Captain" Star Trek style.

With my wounded Talon outrunning its predator I try for a glance in the review mirror only to find that whatever broke the previous owner's windshield also removed the mounted rearview. Not to worry, the reintroduction of the loud pedal's bottom end to the floorboard (mental note: switch to diamond plate there) presents a nice view of the hunter in the side view mirror.

Suddenly realizing that letting the longest of the dashboard needles head so far to the east when your vehicle is sporting no plates and a windshield that belongs on the cover of Charlotte's Web is probably not the best of ideas I switch to the 'pedal of reason' and wait for the Camaro to move back into postion. Hardcore racer that he is he disciplines his failed steed by spanking the brake pedal, dropping speed and falling back out of visibility.

5 miles of highway later yields a similair event with someone who could have been the other racer's older brother in a slightly more subtle white early '90's Mustang. WIth my cell phone ringing in protestation of the Talon's injured flights I decide to acknowledge calls from KOUmotorsport's support vehicle's driver with a classic 100mph ricer flyby. Time to return to the roost for some medical attention before a re-introduction of this Eagle to the wild.

[wortdog]

Nice story. I bet driving home with only 4th and 5th gears available was fun.

[Rollout]

Im inspired. Simply put

[MidwestDSM]

LOL! Nice!

[Temp_Me96]

That was possibly the best put kill stories I have heard in a long time. LOL!

[JBone]

HOLY CRAP!!!
First, AWD4Kicks with his srt-4 slaying and now KOU with this one.

I know I haven't been able to check the boards all that regularly, but did I not know about the Spyonu school for "eloquently detailed" posting?

Nice detail, KOU