 Cadillacks power, Doesn't lack smoke |
 Sep 22 2005, 08:47 AM
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#1
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 Zen Master DSM  Group: Moderators Posts: 3,008 Joined: 10-January 01 From: in front of you Member No.: 5  |
Not a challenging kill, but I'll post it because its been so long since I've had a kill against anyone besides Spy. I prefer Spy write about those, because kills be damned, he is by far the superior story-teller.
I find myself at a stoplight with an open stretch of road in front of me. Next to me pulls the staple of an elderly gentlemens hunger for road refinery. A late '90's Cadillac SLE FWD Northstar V8. I think nothing of it, don't even look to see who's driving it. I wait for the light to turn green and take off slowly only to hear the bouncy peeling out of a wheel-hoppin fwd V8 next to me. It jumps a car ahead, before I even know what's going on. Awww! This ODB's getting it IDB! Floor it! No contest. I pulled a nose in front in 1st, shift to 2nd is another 3 carlengths. 3rd and its all over. Hazards on. He flashes his brights. Luckily enough I hit another stoplight and waited for the caddy to catch up expecting to see a youngin in the driver seat who decided to borrow grandpa's car to pick up the ladies on his way to club chub. Instead I see an old man of darker tone and a nasty 5 o'clock shadow smoking the fattest stogy I've seen in my lifetime. Now I don't know if that fatty was full of tabaccy or wacky, but if the color of his eyes were any indication, this old man, he played three, he played knick-knack with his weed. He pointed to the stoplight and indicated he wanted another shot. What the hell, I'm feeling generous, forget the light, I'll give him the hit (one of many he's had tonight). Light turns green, his tires turn white, I sit and wait for what seemed like an eternity for the inevitable traction that he has to gain sometime soon. Finally he grabs a carlength and I release the sling. My car shoots past his like a cigarette-boat-piloting Cuban importer running from the Coast Guard. 2nd gear, 3rd gear, again its all over. Hazards on, he flashes his brights, a couple friendly waves out the respective windows and I head on home. Moral of the story: If you like the tires on your $50,000 luxury sedan, smoke something a little less mind-altering while attempting to indulge in the power of your FWD torque-monster. |
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Sep 22 2005, 09:03 AM
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DSMCentral Godfather Group: Admin Posts: 3,823 Joined: 10-January 01 From: Washburn Member No.: 26 |
 That was a hilariously good story! two thumbs way up. 
-------------------- In Loving memory of David T Crebo
Greatness comes from the most unexpected places!  |
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Sep 22 2005, 09:09 AM
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#3
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DSM Tech Wizard Group: Members Posts: 2,404 Joined: 16-December 03 From: Fletcher/Bloomington Member No.: 214 |
Nice kill! When I had the Sebring (2.5L V6 coupe) I had an older gentleman much like the one you speak of in a Lincoln Town Car tried to bring me down with his 4.6 litres of fury. Funny how some old farts think their tankified luxury cars can compete with a car that has twice the power to weight ratio.
-------------------- "I hear he tunes the space shuttle also...and that thing is fast"
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Sep 22 2005, 10:13 AM
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 Eats and sleeps DSM jargin. Group: Members Posts: 1,995 Joined: 27-November 04 From: Yates City IL Member No.: 389 |
Old people are cool!
Should have stopped ask asked for a hit off the cigar...sounds like it was good stuff! -------------------- 92 Eagle Talon TSI AWD "The Black Golfball" How fast can a 14B go???
91 Chevy C1500 "Problem Child" **SOLD** 01 Impala DD 07 Trailblazer Wife's new DD Cars run on blood, sweat, and horsepower... Without the first two, you can't get the last" SOB Racing "Sitting On Blocks" |
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Sep 22 2005, 10:29 AM
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 Eats and sleeps DSM jargin. Group: Moderators Posts: 1,156 Joined: 23-September 02 Member No.: 16 |
Very good writeup.
-------------------- my cars breath smells like car food
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Sep 22 2005, 11:08 AM
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 Post Master Group: Members Posts: 780 Joined: 14-July 04 Member No.: 338 |
Shame on you, Nate. You can't go around picking on old gentlemen like a mad man. What if his heart had given out, or his oxygen bottle ran empty? He could have died!!!
 Do you understand the gravity of that situation?? DO YOU!?!?!?!'Course not. You gave that dope-smokin geezer the ass-kicking he deserved.
-------------------- QUOTE (gsxracer80 @ Oct 31 2006, 12:41 AM)
thanks hcar.... I am still massaging that area trying to get it ready...  |
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Sep 22 2005, 11:22 AM
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#7
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Zen Master DSM Group: Moderators Posts: 3,008 Joined: 10-January 01 From: in front of you Member No.: 5 |
That old geezer's gonna need an oxygen bottle if he keeps hitting the sticky-wicky like that.
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