Who Torked off Santa???? Options

[SCCA Stang]

> 'Twas the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed.
> He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
> Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
> I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.
>
> I've busted my ass for damn near a year.
> Instead of "Thanks Santa" -- what do I hear?
> The old lady bitches cause I work late at night...
> The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.
>
> Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
> Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
> And just when I thought that things would get better,
> Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter.
>
> They say I owe taxes -- if that ain't damn funny.
> Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
> And the kids these days -- they all are the pits.
> They want the impossible ... Those mean little sh*ts.
>
> I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds,
> Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads,
> I made a ton of yo-yo's - No request for them...
> They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM.
>
> Flying through the air...dodging the trees,
> Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.
> I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment.
> I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
>
> There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason...
> I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!