After toils and troubles, my Laser finally runs again. Turns out I fried the poopy out of my ECU. Although it still has quite a few problems, the car is now basically driveable, at least enough to get me to work and back. Over, I am VERY pleased to have her back.
HUGE THANKS to KOUIN3 and Xian1G for getting me the parts, Mitsu77 and TurboHcar for helping me out with a shitload of problems she was having, Forcus for dropping the tranny, as well as to JVB and TurboTension for putting up with my carless pooper for the last few weeks!